The moment when your youngest children are ready to leave the home is often a time for reflection, and a consideration of what happens next. Not all parents experience ‘empty nest syndrome’. In any case, these days grown-up children tend to keep at least one foot in the nest for a little bit longer than in times past. But there is no doubting the depth of feeling that many parents experience at this point in their lives.

It is a moment that all parents know will come one day. Yet when it happens it can cause a sadness that is difficult to lift. There are many emotions: the loss of a lifestyle that has kept us busy for so many years, a change in a cornerstone relationship between parent and child, a lament for years that have passed and a reminder of the passage of time. What will our role be during the years that follow?

As your nest empties, becoming a foster carer can be a positive step towards building a fulfilling future for you and your family. You already have deep experience as a care giver and have built a nurturing and loving home for your own family. Foster care may sound like quite a challenge but your own life experience will provide a firm foundation for what you will need to welcome children and young people into your home. 

The basic requirements for foster carers are straightforward. You will need a spare bedroom and space in your home for a child to live comfortably with you. You can be married or single and you can foster whether you own your home or live in rented accommodation. Having a good support network is helpful, although as a foster carer you will make new connections who will provide additional support  as and when you need it. 

It‘s also possible to continue working while you foster, provided you have some flexibility around your work commitments. Fostering allowances and fees will help you with the cost of caring for children in your home and cover expenses you will incur. Your local authority fostering service will be able to provide all the information you need to help you reach a decision about whether fostering is right for you at this point in your life. 

It is a good idea to talk about fostering with other family members, including sons or daughters who may no longer be living with you but will still feel that this is their family home. They will have questions about how fostering will affect them when they visit, ranging from what will happen with their bedroom and personal belongings to whether you will be able to visit them and spend time together doing the things you have enjoyed in the past.  Their understanding and support will be important to you, and they will seek reassurance that you will still be there for them. 

If you do decide to apply to be a foster carer, you will be asked to attend a Skills to Foster course, which will help to answer many of the questions you will still have about fostering. A social worker will be allocated to you to help you through the approval process.

When Karen and Steve from Tameside applied to become foster carers, their 18-year-old son, Josh, took the Skills to Foster course alongside his parents. “Fostering is a massive change in your life and I felt that we all needed as well-prepared as we possibly could be,” Josh says. 

Read story: How does fostering impact birth children?

You will also meet other prospective carers as well as experienced foster carers. By choosing to register with your local council fostering service, it is likely that many of the people you meet during the course will live locally and will be part of your fostering community.

Be in no doubt that as a parent who has already raised a family, you have much wisdom to share and so much love to give. You will make a profound and positive difference to children and young people who need a safe and loving home.

An empty nest no longer.