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How becoming a foster carer changed my life

Foster care can mean a new beginning for children and young people, but becoming a foster carer can also be a new beginning: an opportunity to reconsider purpose and aspirations, to set a new course in life. 

Trish and her husband Steve have been fostering for Rochdale Council for six years. Trish used to be a teacher and really enjoyed working with young people in the classroom and helping them to grow, but over time she became a little frustrated with the role, particularly with the time she spent away from the classroom on paperwork and the focus on targets. 

"You should be a foster carer..."

One of her pupils was in care, living with a foster family. “Their foster carer would tell me that I should be a foster carer. At first it didn’t seem possible and I still felt a strong commitment to teaching, but it really did make me reflect on where I was with teaching and what the future held.” 

Her daughter was off to university so changes were taking place at home and it felt like a good moment to look ahead. After talking it over with family and friends, Trish and Steve agreed to look into it further and approached the fostering service at their local council. 

“At this point I wasn’t quite ready to give up teaching, so it was a case of finding a way to combine teaching with fostering,” says Trish. Rochdale’s fostering team introduced Trish and Steve to the idea of offering respite care for existing foster carers. This is a great way to support foster carers by providing somewhere familiar for children to stay while their carers take time out; for example, for medical treatment, a family event or a well-earned break to recharge the batteries.

Respite or part-time foster care appealed to Trish and Steve, so they made a formal application and went on to be approved by Rochdale Council. But things didn’t quite go as they planned. One of the children they looked after needed a longer-term arrangement and Trish and Steve felt ready to step up. “But something had to give and I felt it was the right time to leave teaching,” Trish says.

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    "Once you become involved with children’s lives you realise how great the need is what a difference you are making. It is very difficult to walk away from it"
    Trish, Foster Carer for Rochdale Council
    " If you are thinking of fostering, go for it. It was the best decision we ever made."
    Lauren and Danny, Foster Carers for Rochdale Council
    "I was terrified of failing, of letting the children down. But we came into fostering to help children, and you can’t choose who needs your help."
    Tammi, Foster Carers for Rochdale Council

    Six years later, Trish and Steve are fully committed to fostering, with a busy fostering household focused on caring for teenagers. They also run one of Rochdale’s Mockingbird hubs, which provides support to other foster families in the area.

    Looking back, Trish says she never expected fostering to become such a big part of their lives. “Once you become involved with children’s lives you realise how great the need is what a difference you are making. It is very difficult to walk away from it.”

    Trish is still involved with teaching as a school governor. But she has no regrets about choosing to foster. “Fostering has been so rewarding,” she says. “I have learnt so much as a foster carer. And I know it is a 24/7 commitment, but I feel I have more control and flexibility over how I manage my day than when I was a teacher.”

    "I was studying to become a solicitor and working for a law firm..."

    Like Trish, Lauren took a life-changing decision to become a foster carer, setting aside a dream to become a solicitor. “I was studying to become a solicitor and working for a law firm,” she says. “Many of our clients were involved with the family courts or their children were living precariously. I found that I was moved by their situation and wanted to be able to help them.”  

    Lauren says that her experience of the legal system has been helpful to her as a foster carer in understanding what families go through when children come into care. “I understand the court process and I think this has made me more empathetic.” 

    Lauren and her husband Danny were approved to foster in 2012. Since then, they have welcomed children and young people of all ages into their home, as well as young mothers and their babies. Relationships with children can last many years. “One of our grown-up foster children asked if I would be ‘granny’ to her baby, which I was delighted to do,” says Lauren. “Even knowing a young person for a short period of time can have such a positive impact. It takes you by surprise.” 

    Fostering has been life changing for Danny too. Formerly a postman, he is now academy player care lead at Rochdale AFC, making use of his experience as a foster carer. 

    “If you are thinking of fostering, go for it. It was the best decision we ever made.”

    Want to talk to someone at your local council about fostering? Get in touch.

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