Mel Jones became an emergency and short-break foster carer with Rochdale Borough Council in March 2025. Here she writes to the child she’s recently been supporting.

As told to Rosie Mullender and featured in the Guardian 23.10.2026

*Name changed for anonymity

Dear Emma*,

I remember the first day we met, back in September 2025. You were confident, sassy, and so full of energy. In the year we’ve known each other, I’ve seen you grow so much, even though you’re still only six years old.

I’m writing this letter to you now in the hope that you’ll read it one day when you’re older. Perhaps it will help you to remember who you were, and to see how far you’ve come despite your very hard start in life.

I chose to foster because I wanted to be able to give something back to children like you, offering them a safe space where they can be loved. So many children, including you, Emma, have experienced neglect. I wanted to show you there are people who care for you.

I feel lucky to have had children like you in my life, because at first, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to foster. I work full-time, I’m single and I have ADHD. I thought all of these things would be barriers to becoming a foster carer. But then, in March 2025, I became a part-time foster carer, having applied almost a year earlier.

When I was told I’d been accepted, I realised that the things I thought would stop me from fostering weren’t true. It felt like the universe was telling me I do have what it takes.

I got the spare bedroom ready, filling it with furniture, bedding and toys. I still worried I might not be up to the job, but I welcomed every child who came with open arms. I gave them my time and got to know them, and learned that simply listening was one of the most important things I could do.

Then I met you, Emma. When you came to me, you were living with two of your brothers with a temporary foster family, and finding it hard to get along with your siblings. At just five years old, you’d been through so much in your short life, and were living in fight or flight mode. Respite care with me gave your foster parents time to recharge.

All children need boundaries, but you were determined to push yours. It was sometimes hard to keep up, but I was patient as I wanted to show you that whatever happens, you’re still loved.

I know it was hard for you, being moved from place to place. So every time you were due to come and stay with me, I’d make it special. I’d run out and buy the kiwi fruit that you loved to eat before bedtime, get out the modelling clay and plan trips to the local swimming pool – one of your favourite things to do.

I wanted to show you that I was excited to see you, and that I’d thought about you while you weren’t here.

You also loved playing with my niece and nephew, and they’d get so excited every time you visited. After the difficult relationship you had with your brothers, it was lovely to see you developing friendships with other children.

As our relationship grew, you gradually became calmer. I learned that bouncing out some energy on the trampoline was a good way to start the day. I introduced you to yoga for children. And when I told you that I do baby massage as part of my job, you wanted to try it.

Afterwards, as you cuddled into me, I felt a stillness in you for the first time since we’d met.

From where I’m writing to you now, Emma, it’s a few weeks since I’ve seen you. But I’ve recently heard that a long-term foster carer has been found for you at last. I’ll be asking my social worker for updates and I have everything crossed that you’ve finally found the forever family you deserve.

While you waited for them, I hope I made a difference to your life. Perhaps when you read this letter you’ll remember us playing with Lego together, watching Bluey, and the chats we had as we picked blackberries in the forest. And remember the peacock we saw? You were so in awe of it.

In return, you’ve taught me that I have what it takes to help children through even the most difficult times. I’ve learned, too, that a person can still be joyful, even when they’ve had a life as difficult as yours.

Everything you’ve been through has made you stronger, and I’m hopeful that you have a bright future ahead of you. I hope you’re still bouncing your way through life, and that you’ve found a safe home where your new family loves cuddles as much as you do.

I feel privileged to have been a small part of your story. And I hope that one day, when you read this letter, you’ll look back at our time together and remember me fondly too.

All my love,
Mel

If you have room in your heart and your home, and curious to learn more about becoming a Foster Carer, please take the time to read the information on our website.  

Once you are ready to take the first step on your journey to becoming a foster carer, please get in touch with us via

• The Enquiry Form
• Email at enquire@fosterforgm.com
• Phone on 0300 303 0321

A committed and friendly member of our team will contact you within one working day of your enquiry and are here to answer any further questions you may have about fostering.  They will also explain and guide you through our step-by-step approach in your journey to becoming a foster carer.